Tag Archives: Worst

Describing The 5 Worst Types of Headache

The Eyeball Twister

One of two things are happening.

Your eyes are being pushed ever so slowly through a clothes wringer.

Or possibly your optic nerve is being used as a tourniquet to stop the bleeding of your brain stem.

Either way, you are aware you have eyes, and are debating their removal.

The Ice Pick

This ghost pick usually is stabbed into the same spot, over and over.  Every stroke pounding deeper into your cranium.

The pain radiates out from that spot like an out of control fire.

I must be paying for some horrible sin I committed because I have one foot stuck in the gate of hell.

The Sinus Buster

Is my head leaking?

Why can’t I feel my face?

The pain is so heavy in the front of my face, I feel like I might tip forward and faceplant in the middle of the floor.

What?  What?  I can’t hear you!  But, I think I can hear the ocean.  I can’t tell if my ears are full of molten lava or if I filled them up with the tears that are streaming down my face.

The Barfer

This headache has hitched a ride on the Pain Express, next stop your stomach.

You are nauseous.

You feel a little wobbly.

If you move your head in a direction the rest of your body follows.

You start to float above the floor.  (Wow look at that, I am having an out of body experience.)

Feels like a record that is skipping, caught, trapped in my madness.  I am spinning ever so gently.  Fast and then slow…repeat.

I am pretty sure my brain is taking a ride on the Tilt-A-Whirl.  Where is my bucket?

The Other Side

I see a light.  Far in the distance.  It is getting brighter.  Should I walk towads the light?  It is kind of pretty.  I have heard there is peace and serenity in the light.

I am reminded of the movie Poltergeist.

To her, it simply is another child “headache”. To us, it is The Beast.  -Tangina

That is weird, I only see this light with my left eye.  Oh, the pretty light is going away now, nothing to fear here.  This was nothing like Poltergeist.  I am going to…WHAM!!!     THEY’RE HERE!!!

Anyone ever experience one of these?  All of these?  Leave a comment with your experience.  

Teaser Photo Attribution By:  [3/4 of zerO]

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