High Fructose Corn Syrup (sweetie),
Although it’s been well over 20 years ago, it seems like we just met. I remember that bright and sunny day like it was yesterday. You were so sweet, and honestly, you still are. The hunger your brought to my soul was so powerful. I missed you when you were gone. I hurt until the time I would see you again. I am confident you made me a bigger person. Everyone could see it, especially when only wearing swimming trunks. The looks, the glances, they could see I was in love as I carried you around the beach in that cooler. Oh, the memories.
The thing I must tell you now is going to hurt you a lot more than it is going to hurt me. I have found another. Her name is Honey. I think she will be more honest with me, more natural.
You might be asking yourself why I am doing this. I’m just not myself when I am around you. It is like I am on some kind of high, and when you leave I crash. I crash hard. I can’t go on living like this. You have said time and time again that you think I am afraid of commitment. I admit that is true, but I am also afraid of how you affect me on the inside. The lies you told, the broken promises, I just don’t trust your label anymore.
Don’t worry. You are subsidized, you will find another. There are others dying to fall into a long term relationship with you. I have seen some wandering around in the soda aisle at the grocery store looking for love.
I am sure I will see you around from time to time. Just don’t be surprised when I look the other way.
(To understand why I wrote this letter read The Dangers of High Fructose Corn Syrup)