A Break-Up Letter to High Fructose Corn Syrup

High Fructose Corn Syrup (sweetie),

Although it’s been well over 20 years ago, it seems like we just met.  I remember that bright and sunny day like it was yesterday.  You were so sweet, and honestly, you still are.  The hunger your brought to my soul was so powerful.  I missed you when you were gone.  I hurt until the time I would see you again.  I am confident you made me a bigger person.  Everyone could see it, especially when only wearing swimming trunks.  The looks, the glances, they could see I was in love as I carried you around the beach in that cooler.  Oh, the memories.

The thing I must tell you now is going to hurt you a lot more than it is going to hurt me.  I have found another.  Her name is Honey.  I think she will be more honest with me, more natural.

You might be asking yourself why I am doing this.  I’m just not myself when I am around you.  It is like I am on some kind of high, and when you leave I crash.  I crash hard.  I can’t go on living like this.  You have said time and time again that you think I am afraid of commitment.  I admit that is true, but I am also afraid of how you affect me on the inside.  The lies you told, the broken promises, I just don’t trust your label anymore.

Don’t worry.  You are subsidized, you will find another.  There are others dying to fall into a long term relationship with you.  I have seen some wandering around in the soda aisle at the grocery store looking for love.

I am sure I will see you around from time to time.  Just don’t be surprised when I look the other way.

Sincerely,

Consumer

(To understand why I wrote this letter read The Dangers of High Fructose Corn Syrup)

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2 responses to “A Break-Up Letter to High Fructose Corn Syrup

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